Friday, December 21, 2007

AOC: End of the road

Well the day is done and it is time to head back to a galaxy a long time ago and far far away. I congratulate Dr. Mnemonic …. Uhhh Dr. Demonic , well the Brain in the Jar guy.

I leave China in the capable hands of Samantha. Who better to run a totalitarian communist/capitalist country? I think she will have the brains, will power and ruthlessness to oppress the people and pump out more lead tainted toy and other cheap crap. I just hope none of the old power structure tried to reclaim the land for themselves, she would slay them all and the streets would run with a different kind of red.

Gabby and his guys head off to make a living as re-enactors in Virginia. With the money they made as henchman they decided to get new old uniforms and make it more a hobby than a vocation.

As for me I think I learned a lot on this show. I learnd that….

henchy 2

“Tak, what ate you doing? You not going to make this a “Very Special
Blossom” moment are you? Cuz thats kinda girly. The only thing you learned was you got spanked by a Brain in Jar. I can’t believe that he even got more action thatn you did. Did I mention HE IS A BRAIN IN A JAR!!!!!” The Henchman smacks his own head in despair.

“If I was going to have a Very Special Blossom moment, that would make you Joey Lawrence. Right?” I ask

The Henchman just shakes his head and starts looking for the nearest bar.

As I was saying I learned a lot of things, but mostly I learned …..

Koma starts yelling at me. “Oy, Clone freak, did you learn to read the shows contract better. Because if you did you would see that the second place contestant has to clean up the mess the show left. So grab a broom and get to it.” He turns and leaves.

I look out over the island and harbor.

island trash

I really need to read those contracts better. On the other hand I guess that is why Koma is a evil genius.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Nemonok: I win

Dr. Nemonok rolls up onto the stage.

Nemonok: Ahem. Before I address everyone tonight, I have an announcement to make. Will the owner of the dull gray dropship tail number NX342 please move your vehicle, it is parked in a loading zone. Thank you.

Ladies, gentlemen, mutants, and criminals everywhere. I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart, er the bottom of my nutrient containment exchanger system for awarding me this great honor. By allowing me to win, you have of course declared the obvious that I am the most evil of them all. Thank you.

I would like to take this time to thank the gracious host, Captain Koma, for allowing me to participate today. Koma, you are a brilliant but petty, bitter man. If that’s what it takes for you to be evil, then by all means, roll with it, doctor.

I would also like to thank the judges, the Henchman and Deadpool. My good men, there is certainly room in my master, the malevolent dark lord Galactor the Evil Galactic Overlord’s organization for two men of your caliber. It is of course dangerous work, but the rewards are certainly worth it.

Lyn, it is unfortunate that your life has taken a turn like it has. I always found you to be a good looking and very competent actress. Hell, I loved you in Freaky Friday. It is too bad that you chose the path that you have.

Commander Oneida, I am not sure why you guest judged as you are clearly not evil. You do work for an evil government though, and I am proud to see you continue to serve them. Keep up the good work.

Army of (Cl)One, it was an honor besting you in the competition. You are a worthy champion in your own right and good luck to you at your new post guarding the detention center of the Death Star.

To my henches, you have served me well in this competition. You all deserve what is coming to you and I will address that before I leave.

(Music starts to play)

Bah, thank you everyone, I do feel super tonight. You hate me, you really hate me!

(Microphone cuts out)

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

What you've all been waiting for.

"And now your hostess with the mostest. Lin!" announces Deadpool.

I walk onto the stage, the music blares out "The Final Countdown."I get to the podium and look out at the audience of four.
No bother. Its an audience and I can work them like the best.

"Wasn't this the greatest Who wants to be Super Villain, ever!" I ask them.
"Hmm sort of." says the red robot.

"But wasn't this the first. We have nothing to compare it with." comments the gay guy in purple and pink.

Ugh! Oh well nothing to do but announce the winner and runner up.

"So onto the reason for this presentation the winner of the inaugural Who wants to be a Super Villain!" I shout expecting the four to cheer and applaud.

"Just give it to the brain in a jar and put me out of my misery." screams Tak.

"But Tak even I don't know who won. The e-mail votes have been kept secret until now." I tell him.

"You really mean there's hope I could have won?" he asks.

"Maybe." I tell him. "And the winner of Who wants to be a Super Villain by 13 votes to 9 is ......"
Dr Nemonock!

You are a Super Villain!

"And as our winner you get to have the certificate of ..... wining."

"And Tak we're so very sorry at your loss and we'd like to give you a certificate too."

"Ok thats all the time we have here. So goodbye and remember don't just try and be a villain. Be a Super Villain."

Monday, December 17, 2007

The final countdown

Well Its all over people. The votes are in and we do have a winner and a loser for the final.

So I'd like to take some time and delay the final decision and thank those who without their participation none of this would have happened.

Thanks without your help and encouragement none of this would have happened.

Not sure why I'm thanking you you but yeah thanks.

Its always great to have a guest judge to shake things up. You did real well. Its a pity we didn't get more people who were interested in playing along.

Thanks Lin. I think?

Of course none of this would have been possible without the suckers umm! players. Thanks a lot for loosing oops! playing.

So there is a result post coming soon.

Lin's doing that.


So tune in later this week for the final post in this the inaugural year of Who wants to be a Super Villain.


The network isn't doing this unless the viewers demand it.

Oh great!

Oh yeah with the paltry sum of money left over after Lin's rider cost us $2,ooo a day we've been able to get an act for the final show.

Here they are with their one hit wonder Europe and the Final Countdown.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Time for everyone to decide.

Now its time for the audience to decide who won.
Of course we are going to have the usual on-line poll again.
But along with this, the past players of WWSV are invited to e-mail me their thoughts on who won the final round.

So who did win this round?

Nemonock with his highly ironic way of taking over China, with hawt chicks.

Or was it Tak. With his three course banquet of doom. Which came with a nice little song from the eighties as well.
Dinner and a show.

Please Vote NOW!!!!
Who is the winner?
Tak free polls

Nemonok: Power to the people

I’ve been involved with doomsday devices in my day. I have to admit that I’m not a big fan of them, if you kill everyone on the planet, there would be nobody left to psychoanalyze. Despite that, there’s a certain elegance to the totality of the doomsday device. If you’re going to destroy your planet, you can do it in style.

But what kind of a doomsday device should I use? There are many to choose from: cobalt bombs, planet eaters, hyperspace bombs, Death Stars, mass drivers, Trilithium torpedoes, NOVA bombs, Galactic Implosion Devices, Vogon Constructor Ships, ice-nine. The list goes on and on.

For this task, however, I need something tailor made for where we’ll be.

My henches and I flew to the People’s Republic of China in my Shadow Stealthship where I began to work immediately on something that would suit our needs.

“Hey Doctor, you got any shrimp?” Bob the Goon interrupted my work.

“Yes, there is a plate in the microwave.”

“I knew it!” Bob pulled a plate of breaded coconut shrimp from the oven and left the room munching happily.

“Are we gonna blow up the place?” Apocalypto Pickle asked as he watch me running computations. “I can make a big explosion.”

“Yes, an explosion would be nice, but not suitable to our needs right now.”

“Well, what’s it going to be?” Iron Butterfly asked.

“Something so destructively evil that even I am surprised that I thought of it.”

“Really,” Gun Nut sniffed snidely. “Few things you do surprise me.”

“It is finished. Now, let us pay a visit to the government.”

We flew to Beijing and easily broke into the office of President Hu Jintao, defeating his guards easily. We were fortunate that Premier Wen Jiabao was there as well as it would make this easier.

“Gentlemen, it is good to meet with you today.”

“What are you doing here?” the president demanded. “Who are you people?”

“Let me introduce myself, I am Dr. Nemonok and I would like to show you the one thing that will bring this country to its knees. The one thing that will bring you to your knees.”

“You are a fool,” Premier Wen Jiabao said. “You may have defeated the troops here, but you have the entire nation’s military to contend with now.”

“Do I?”

I activated the controls and the construct hummed to life. Shortly thereafter, shapely Chinese women began to emerge from it.

“What is that?” Hu Jintao demanded.

“Your new Chinese cloning facility. I engineered the clones myself, normally I stay away from the filthy abominations but in this instance, I couldn’t resist.”

“Well, they certainly are good looking,” Wen Jiabao leered.

“Yes, they are. Their genetic makeup has also been altered a bit. I isolated some of the unique characteristics of tribbles. These clones are designed to do little more than to eat and reproduce.”

“I wouldn’t mind helping them with the reproducing,” chuckled the premier.

“Oh of course not, but they will only reproduce women.”

“Only women?” asked the president. “We cannot have women overrun our country. We are so overpopulated already.”

“Indeed. It would soon be very difficult to handle another 1.3 billion, wouldn’t it? Feeding, educating, housing, and everything else. You would soon be stepping over the bodies of your dead.”

“You’re a madman!” yelled the premier.

“A madman am I? No no, I am just the disembodied brain of the galaxy’s greatest psychiatrist contained within a nutrient rich jar. Oh, and if necessary, I could turn up the cloning production a bit.”

“No, please don’t,” said that president. “What do you want?”

“Simple. Kneel before Dr. Nemonok.”


“Bow down to Dr. Nemonok.”

Begrudgingly, the two Chinese politicians dropped to their knees in front of me.

“Nice job, boss,” Iron Butterfly chuckled to me.

“Heh, I’ve done better.”

AOC: Rockin' China

I gather my team to review our Doom Machine options. Gabby reports first.

“Me and the boys went and raided Professor Von Steampunk’s base after that Jar Brain had him killed. I like his dirigible with Amberaloic ray guns, so we stole them. Got a fleet of 20.” Gabby smiles at the group.

steam punkairship

Samantha jumps up and shows what she developed.

cookie dough gun

“Is that a cookie dough gun?” I ask

Samantha grins, “Yes, it is. We have made them big enough to be mounted on the Dirigibles. We can cover a large city with cookie dough in 20 minutes.”

“Not bad ideas. I think we will use both of them in conjunction with mine. I call it the Duel Death Star!!!!!” I say with my best booming voice.


Samantha and gabby start coughing “coughFreudiancoughcompensatingcough mommyissuescough”

“Yeah it pretty stunning if I do say so my self” I beam back at them. “also we are going to tell how we took over china with a song. So get your bands together and let’s rock the mic!!!”

gabby band

sam homemusic

stor guatair

99 million Red Commie Goons
(sung badly to the tune of 99 Red Balloons)

We attack the red menace with all we got
Our doom machine are looking hot
We’ll set them free at the break of dawn
The politburo will soon be gone
Back at their base, the commies scare
Flashing message, something’s out there
The reds know something awry
99 million Red goons going to die

99 million red goons looking up in the sky
Panic bells, Army on alert
There’s something here from somewhere else
Commie war machine springs to life
Opens their eager eye
Focusing on the scary clone guy
Where 99 million red goons are going to die

99 decisions street, 99 ministers meet
To worry, worry, super fast
Call your troops so we can blast
This is what Tak’s waited for
This is it Samantha, this is war
President Hu Jintao on the line
His calls for peace, we decline
As 99 million red goons die

All the commie’s planes hit the air
Gabby bring his guns to bear
All the reds start to fall far
And are blasted by my Double Deathstar
The commies get cut like Darth Maul
Oh crap we blew up the great wall!!

Shanghai, Beijing and Hong Kong
All are dust and all are gone
The city of Harbin is below
4 million kilos of Cookie dough
All the Chinese leaders are dead
Samantha takes over making the toys of lead
Gabby and his men don’t want a thrown,
The just head off to the red light zone
And for Tak, his souvenir is now he is the new premiere
And here is the last red goon
Hhe is crying over this lame ass tune

Tak’s team gets to parade down the street
Cuz out mission is complete