Saturday, December 8, 2007

AOC: Koma Christmas Deathwish

“So who is this Santa guy that Koma wants killed?” I ask my Hench squad.

Both look at me a little surprised.

Hello, from a different Galaxy! Don’t know all the local dignitaries. Jeez peole throw me a Frinckin’ bone or something.” I glare

Gabby starts in “Well boss, Sandy Clause is the guy who bring all the presents at Christmas time. He dresses in red, sneaks down the chimney and leaves Christmas gifts.”

Does everyone get gifts?” I ask

Oh no," Chimes in Samantha. “only the people on the nice list. If you are on the naughty list then you get a lump of coal or some lame thing. The good thing is if you are nice you can write Santa a letter and ask for a specific gift.”

That must be why Koma hates him. I can’t see Koma being on the Nice list.

And he does this on “Christmas”? What is Christmas?” I inquire some more.

It the holiday that about 1/6th of the planet celebrates to honor the birth of their God. Well his son, but it is him also. It all get a little confusing, so most of us don’t think about it too much.” Gabby tells me.

Well that is weird. What does that guy in the red suit have to do with all of that?” I ask

Don’t start asking that,” Samantha tells me,” you’ll just upset Bill O’Riley and Rush Limbaugh and get them all riled up about the war on Christmas.”

Cool. You guys have a war on Christmas. That is a really weird way to celebrate the birth of a God, but hey who am I to knock other cultures.” I smile at the two of them.

The both have that look on their face again.

Well, back to the task at hand. Let me see if I have the basic facts. 1) Santa wears red 2) Santa goes to house on his “nice” list 3) he deliver presents that you asked for. Do I have all that right?” I ask my Hench squad.

They both nod yes.

Ok then, Gabby I need you to find the an address for this organization.” I had him a piece of paper. “And Samantha I need you to see if you can Slice into …. I mean hack into Santa’s Nice list and put this name and the address Gabby gives you. Also the present you should put down for this person is an Uzi.”

They both look a little stunned, but jump in to action.

On Christmas morning I wake up my Hench Squad and flip on the news.

Today we have a tragic story to report. In South Central Los Angles last night a man dressed as Santa broke into the headquarters of the CRISP gang, carrying a Uzi. Apparently the 35 member of the CRISP gang though he was a member of the Aryan Nation trying to disguise himself as a member of the North side Bloods. He was shot 183 time.

santa gun

other news Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator surged ahead in the Iowa…..

I turn the TV off, hand Gabby and Samantha Christmas presents and head to the kitchen for some hot coco.



Dr. Nemonok said...

Isn't it great when a plan comes together -- an evil plan?

Mr. Butler said...

I wasn't aware that Santa still delivered in south central LA.