Friday, October 26, 2007

Nemonok: Getting "Comfortable"

“Sorry about having to put you in an outhouse,” the man apologized with a shrug. Then he got a wiff of the ramshackle building “Wow, does it smell in here!”

“Do not worry about it. I only need modest accommodations and the smell does not offend me as I can easily disengage my olfactory sensors. Say, what was your name again?”

“Oh, it’s Boris,” he answered.

“Interesting. I thought that there was another.”

“Yeah well there was Garry,” the man answered. “Funny thing is, we were down at one of the local watering holes having a few drinks and he was there just getting hammered and complaining how he gets no respect around here. Something must’ve really set him off or something. Next thing we know it, he jumped off the roof of the building.”

“Oh my. Is he dead?”

“No, but he broke almost every bone in his body,” Boris shrugged. “Funny thing was just a little while ago he said his life was turning around.”


“Yeah,” he nodded. “He just got a job here and he said he was getting back with his old lady. He was finally gonna be able to support her and the kid.”

“Now he cannot work, obviously. I hope he is being taken care of.”

“Naw that’s another thing. We tried to get health benefits, but Koma only keeps a couple of us on hand so we can’t get into a union.”

“How unfortunate. And this Koma that you work for, is he otherwise a decent fellow?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Boris shrugged. “He sure does like his work, though.”

“Indeed. How do you mean?”

“Well, onetime I remember being in his lab and talking on the phone and we was all like ‘Aw mom, I can’t come home for Christmas dinner, I have work to do.’”


“Yeah,” Boris chuckled. “Then he said ‘I don’t care, I’m staying here! My Synth-bots love me more than you do!’ Then he totally slammed the phone down.”

“On his own mother? How dreadful.”

“Yeah, well lots of us have problems with out parents,” Boris stated. “I guess that’s why a lot of us turn to a life of crime.”

“That is understandable. Is there anything else you wanted to tell me about your employer, Mr. Boris?”

“I dunno,” Boris replied. “Well, he does make fun of people’s names when he’s intimidated by them.”


“Oh yeah,” he smiled. “I remember once he was fighting this one X-Man and he called her Jerk-alee instead of her real name Jubilee. Then she totally kicked him in the shin. He was almost caught, but he had one of those escape pods nearby.”

“Fascinating. Boris, I want to say that I feel terrible for what happened to Garry and I don’t think you are being treated very well here, either. Worst thing is, I myself was awfully harsh on him when I first got here. I probably should have been nicer because as you know, those who live in glass jars shouldn’t throw stones.”

“Uh, yeah, right.” Boris looked a little confused.

“I see a lot of untapped potential in you, Boris. Stick with me and I’ll help you realize it.”

“Really?” The goon looked hopeful.

“Yes, of course I do not have any of your Earth money but I will pay you handsomely for your services nonetheless.”

“Really? You mean it?”

“Of course. I am a psychiatrist, would I ever steer you wrong?”


A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Yes, he will pay you in Double Coupon. But you have to shop at Melgo mart on Tuesdays.

I wonder what that brain fluid tastes like? Can it get you drunk?

Henchman432 said...

Do keep in mind, Doctor.We are watching everything.

Mr. Butler said...

Do all brains smell like you or just the ones living in an outhouse? Seriously, do something about that...not all of us can disengage our olfactory sensors.

captain koma said...

Boris is a lying sack of effluent. I have always given benefits and how could I not be in favour of the union movement with my number 2 being a leading light at the Henchman union.

As for that stuff about my mother. When have I ever called them Synth-bots. They are synthoids. Also my mother and I have a great relationship and like all great relationships it has boundaries. When I say I'm not coming home for Christmas I'm not coming home they know it.

Magneto said...

Koma has mother issues? big surprise there

TX said...

From what Lin has told me Maggie he also has other issues