Thursday, October 25, 2007

To The Extreme

I was called into Commander Cody’s office. He informed me that Senator Palpatine wanted me to go on another Game show. He seemed to think my performances on Last Gladiator Standing II and The Amazing Mutant Race III were great PR for the Republic. Palpatine also felt it might be good training for the future, what ever that means.

Commander Cody informs me that I have an hour to get ready and I will be off to “Who Wants To Be a Super Villain?” I didn’t pay much attention, due to the fact that this could mean another 10 weeks of not having to deal with Senator Ask Aak.

With in the hour I am on a transport for the show. I give the contact and description of the show a cursory glance, order a bourbon and take a nap.

As I land I am meet by a guy driving a Yugo, who takes me to the shows compound. The area is in a jungle, but I smell the sea not to far off. I am shown to my quarters.

container box

I decide to change in to my outfit for the show. Afterwords I go looking for Captain Koma and The Henchman to find out what the game plan is.

When I find the two of them, both stare at me and then The Henchman sputter exasperatedly “What the heck is up with your outfit? Dude you are really going off the deep end!”

trooper rapper 2

I am just getting into the shows theme. Is it too subtle?” I ask

Captain Koma snaps at me “And what kind of villain are you trying to be? “Gangsta Pimp?”

What are you yammering about Koma? I am just doing my best to hit the right note and make sure I am the greatest White Rapper in the universe.” I inform the stunned duo.

The Henchman shakes his head in disbelief. “
Tak, what do you think this show is? Did you read the contract and show description?”

Of course I did. This is “Who wants to be the next Vanilla Ice?” I smile

Captain Koma screams at me “No you freaking moron, Super Villain, not Vanilla Ice!!’ He turns to The Henchman, “I told you I didn’t want him on the show, but you were all But he’ll be great. He got such good rating on ARM 3 Blah Blah Blah.” Well he is your problem now.” Komo storms off.

The Henchman just keeps shaking his head.

I try to break the silence “So do I sing Ice Ice Baby now? I've been practicing my Running Man dance.


Dr. Nemonok said...

Army of (Cl)One

A clone (or possibly a clone from a clone from a clone) taken from a sample of one of his galaxy’s finest warriors. As with all clones, he suffers from a mild case of Copy Retrograde Syndrome. Effective at following orders, accomplishing military-oriented tasks, and dancing, but improvisation and marksmanship skills leave much to be desired. Probably not technically evil.

Conclusion: Not a strong sense of individualism but is a good follower. All he needs to succeed is a good leader, possibly one who was once the galaxy’s greatest psychiatrist.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Back off Bath Brain! I don't need any of your Psycho babble. Next thing you know you will be telling me what my birth order of 24, 978 means.

I am just Fett with who I am ... Uh I mean fine. I am fine. Who said anything about Janga Fett

Deadpool said...

Senator Ass? That's a weird name.

And keep your costume! U b rockin it old skoolz.

captain koma said...


Henchy you deal with the white maggot. I'm not touching this one. Really if he even comes close to singing "Ice Ice Baby" I'm teleporting him to Hoth.

Mr. Butler said...

Go ninja, go ninja, go ninja go!

Henchman432 said...


*Heads to off to take pills.*

Magneto said...

*joins Henchman in shaking head*

Gyrobo said...

Vanilla Ice- wasn't he the guy who wrote Moon River? Yeah... that's the guy...

Owes me a steak dinner.

TX said...

okay a pimp trying to be an imperial clone