Monday, October 29, 2007

Recruitment drive.

Ha! I see the Terminartrixs' obsolete technology try to watch me as I walk into the Crime Alley bar. I take a little gift from grandmother out of my belt, and press the button and now all she can see is Majin Buu dancing.It's funny it's like she's trying to take over the world with an Atari 2600. I'd still hit it though.

The paper company guy isn't really a threat. The good thing is he doesn't know about my powers. Fine with me. The annoying brain is a little less annoying when you pour vodka into his mineral bath. Problem is he starts telling disturbing stories about camp.

The clone trooper, and the robot are funny. As for Magneto , he's a fruitcake as proven by the clown costume he runs around in. Back to business I scan the room as the other assassins from the league surround me.

" Master. Are you sure this is the place to recruit?" One asks.

" Yes relax." I respond. " Dregs of Crime Alley this is your chance to join the League of Assassins I am their master Bruce Cain. Now you can join. If you are not interested or skilled enough do not waste my time. "

This weird deformed headed guy came up. " Ya know The last leader of of your group was a Cain too. "

I glare at this nuisance. " Get to your point. "

" Well this girl was an agent of the Bat, only pretending to be evil. I think your not truly evil either. "

" Believe me. " I laugh. " Me and the Bat don't get along."

He points at my waist . " Yet you have a utility belt. You know what ya can do to prove your evil. " He pushes something furry into my face. " EAT THIS KITTEN!"

I punch this guy in the face, it collapses splattering his brains all over the floor. " Evil enough for you? Anyone else want to challenge me?" There are just some mumbles.

The first ones to meet us outside are odd. They are ninjas. Who used to work for the Shredder.they fight alright I guess they can be trained to be decent cannon fodder at least. What's more interesting is there stuff they told me.

" Master Sakai made us dress like turtles, and the girl's like April O'Neil , and then he'd make us strip slowly."

I put my hand up. "I don't need to hear anymore." Though Shred head's little perversions could be good for some blackmail if he ever wants to an obstacle to me.

The next one was some guy called "Alpha. " He looked at the way I moved, and smiled. " You are who you say you are."

" And how do you know?" I ask.

" I trained your mother. " To prove it. he took down the cannon fodder ninjas in three seconds.

" Welcome to the league." I smile. Next the worst candidate shows up. This guy who couldn't get out of his car.

The next one was well stupid. " I am The Kung Fu clown!" He fought pretty well but the clown thing doesn't say scary. It says " I work for Magneto! "

" Next!"

"I am next Cain!"

His power level is higher than most of the rabble here.

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I order the Mad Dog to fight him, and the Guy who calls himself "Evil Ryu. "challenges " No. I fight you."

He's good , better than I thought. It isn't often that I'm surprised. A human is making me sweat. The problem Is for him at least I can still read him. And as fast as he is I'm faster.

Tarzan shouts "They go so fast Tarzan no can see them!"

Ryu goes for some kind of Ki charged spin kick It only hits my after image I appear behind him and he fires a Blast yelling "Hai Do Ken!"

" Kamehameha!" I fire my energy at his.I can read from his body that was a feint he wanted me to fire the blast thinking I would stay in that stance. He leaps toward me power crackling along his fist. That's a mistake I can fly he cant. I let my blast destroy a Starbucks transform into a Super Saiyan and fly towards him punching him through a brick wall.

He gets out holding his arm and bleeding from his mouth and nose. "You.. Are a worthy master. "

" And your pretty tough to survive that punch ." I smirk "Your in."

I return to the tree house. This was a pretty productive day. Some cannon fodder, and some new members of my inner circle Alpha , and Evil Ryu join Mad Dog and the three blondes. Koma comes in. " Ah, I see you've already succeeded in your challenge Mr. 'Cain'. "

Challenge ? There was a challenge?


captain koma said...

nice arrogance!

I do like that in a super-villain.

Its a pity the clown didn't work out.

You better watch out for that Ryu though he could try and take over.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

That clown guy is sitting in the top branch of your tree club house dropping chip crumbs all over your ape man. Seem like you got more than you bargined for.

Dr. Nemonok said...

Kung Fu Clown may indeed be a serviceable villain but he has far too much girth to be effective, in my humble opinion. Perhaps I could introduce him to the incessant contact with evil weight loss plan and just watch those pounds melt away.

Henchman432 said...

Not bad, but not great.

Deadpool said...

should of used fatso.

TX said...

you under estimate me

Mr. Butler said...

At first, I thought that was the governor of New Mexico.

Gyrobo said...

We all enabled Shredder, though. There's plenty of blame to go around.